So home is where your heart is. That’s how it’s said.
Where’s my heart? Oh yes, it’s beating in my chest, here, closer than anything. I can travel to it through my breath. And yet, so many times it’s easy to feel like it would be far-far away. Always looking to the distance, into the past, toward the future, somewhere I want to go, someone I want to hug, something I want to reach…
Then I stop. I take a deep, full breath. Where I am? Where’s my heart…? Where is home? I move my body. Connecting with feelings. Checking in.
Home. What’s home for you? Is it a place? A community? A person?
Home is of course a place… my home, where I grew up, the land, the trees, the birds. Rivers. My city. Then, one day, I became a stranger – or maybe I’ve always been. Since an incredibly long time I wanted to go “home” somewhere, where I can feel “home”. So the place didn’t work. Then, I thought, OK, so that’s a person! An other person. Someone else, “You”. Still outside, still something I have to find to feel home. Surprise: it’s not there. Or rather, it is, and it isn’t. Yes in a way, only temporarily on that deepest level where I always wanted to feel home. I am more tied to people than to places. Still, it’s not stable. It can change with the weather. Or with the low tide. Or when we go home alone.
Then home became a distant place in time, in the past, somewhere in my childhood before certain things happened. Wow, this was a revelation on its own! I have never really imagined something like this could feel like home. So even time can be home. But again, it’s not here! Impossible to go there, live there, be there. Though it lives in me.
Some time have passed again. Do you remember Paolo Coelho’s Alchemist? And the Bible (maybe this is the original 🙂 ): Where’s your treasure, there’s your heart? Home is, where your heart is. And your heart is where your treasure is (to be found). I like this.
My heart is here. Now. It’s present, and I am present within. I can feel it, how it’s filled with gratitude and love. Because, I feel home.
Nothing can be compared to the freedom of feeling home, knowing where I belong. It’s never been outside… and it was always here. I did look everywhere, except inside, in this body, in this soul, in this spirit, in this heart. Here I am finally, not quite sure I have reached my final destination: it feels as if I just started to live! I don’t know where I was in the past decades (yes, it’s plural): it’s great to be back. So home is where my heart is fully present, here, and now. Inside. Let’s dance with it, to make it visible!