retrospective

• blisters on the feet (happens sometimes)
• a pair of slacks torn apart during dance (never happened before)
• sweat like a bath over the body, totally wet (almost always happens, forgot how it feels)
• didn’t feel I danced (wow! amazing. never happened. what’s going on?!)
• interviews: praise the Lord! (one down, one to come, going to get a job, yay)
• self-esteem protected and stood up for (something completely new. declaring clear boundaries. stand for my truth. decline unacceptable behavior even if it hurts.)
• one hurt heart (it’s just the shock. who cares. time to let dreams and desires go, how sad it is, who cares, that’s what it is, face it, accept it, let it go. again. it’s the whole damn life. apathy. I feel so board of all these. need to find a way to restrain and just don’t give a shit.  self-esteem feels good at least, much better than a broken heart, and anyway I’m hole even with this patched buddy. the birth of the princess is never easy, is it?)
• breath (how calming it is to feel so close)
• father forgiven (out of the blue in the midst of running, it just happened. didn’t know I hadn’t forgiven yet. so lovely and energizing..! maybe that’s the spring of the newly growing visible self-esteem. change. accept.)
• autumn is coming. (beauty and fresh winds. want to be hugged by a wind.)
• something that ends and something that begins (I wish I could name these, but it’s impossible. feelings. instinct.)
• missing friend (will we ever be close again..? sure. it’s just time. it’s just that I live here and you don’t, and you have a family and I don’t, and you’re busy with work and I am not. time.)

breath
inspire
dance
hug
rest
dream
create
happiness
and the new dawn will show the unfolding path
or not.
Let’s wait for the dawn.

Present

Considering how young (and old.. and young.. and old.. but rather young, for now) I am, why not…  Be? Present. Simple. Would you walk with me…?
When a hand came and helped me to stand on the dance floor, kindly guiding me back to the present from being lost, that was a moment to feel connected and be filled with grace from head to toe. And get lost in the moment. For example.