In these days I am writing an article on Biodynamic Craneosacral Therapy to the Integral Magazine. Actually, this month (April) I prepare two articles for the May issue, and this is one of these.
When I read the BIO of those people I got in touch with during my path, and from whom I learned and I am still learning, I feel small and I feel like I knew so little… Because I’ve never traveled to India, never spent there months with different healers and haven’t had meetings with great masters, and haven’t been a disciple (yet).
I know that my work is good quality and of great value, that I can help with what I do, that I possess a certain gift, an aptitude or a talent to touch, to give massage, and offer psychological-spiritual and body-mind-spirit healing arts. That’s what I have since I was a little girl. Therefore I don’t and have never thought about it as a great deal. It was always something natural, like the seasons: something so free and so vitally present as art itself.
The reason why I feel small it’s not that I didn’t have a quite extraordinary life until today – which of course I consider “normal”: I had my experiences in meditations, self-therapies, with different healing techniques, even enlightenment, I studied many things from many different persons who were masters in their chosen field. And of course I had masters followed till certain period of time.
I could also make a list of books, and films, which had been my masters sometimes on a lot deeper level than any person ever did in personal meetings. I was always looking for answers to understand the backstage of reality.
Reality, for me, is the invisible path which beyond our regular world, what makes us real in our actions, in our personality, who we are and why in our choices, and in how we relate to our family, friends, and all other people around us.
I’ve tried many things, and then I stopped trying. I am doing. I chose to do certain things, and use certain healing techniques because we fit: and as I deepen my knowledge I realise more and more how it feels a lot more like remembering then anything else. It feels like arriving home.
I think we all have this feeling sometimes, when we meet with those persons who have an important role in our lives, and influence our choices. There are lots of nameless persons in the world, who can be a guide for us, like shining starts: from a barman to a bus driver, a retired person who lives next door, the local vegetable store…
I spent long years to search for a master. Maybe, I wasn’t ready. Or maybe I am too young. Or just looking for some gut-feeling about finding a master. Like finding the love of your life. You really don’t find it – it finds you.
And yes, I had and have special relations with extraordinary persons who thought and still teach me a lot about life and myself and my place in it, but it’s not that relation.
It’s been many years since I haven’t thought about having such a master I see and hear other people follow (should it be yoga, spiritual teaching, meditation, a healer, etc). Maybe because I am not a follower at all.
Today, researching some historical data and some description of cranoesacral, this all made me a bit sad. And I recalled the person from whom I started to learn the art of craneosacral therapy, and for whom I feel deeply grateful for who he is and how he thought us the healing art of craneosacral therapy and biodynamics so humbly, full of humour and love and incredible knowledge and experiences.
I long for his presence and teaching, and it has nothing to do with personal stuff. Philip Bingham, a teacher of the James Jealous Biodynamics of Osteopathy school, lives in Australia – quite far away from me, indeed. Phil happens to have a Hungarian wife, this is how he kept coming back to Hungary after the fall fo the Communism, and this is how he had his course of Craneosacral Therapy in Budapest.
Life has its own secrets, and sometimes even brief encounters can have huge impacts on our lives, on our future choices and goals to follow.
There’s a saying with quite ambiguous origin (some says it’s coming from Buddha, others contradict, and say it has Theosophical origin), that when the student is ready, the master will appear.
Maybe we are too picky in this question. And too romantic, and too demanding, because in one way or another, everyone is a master in my life: my father, and my mother, my family, my friends, my partner – and even those whom I can’t stand, or enemies… even our cats, the people I live with in this lovely town… There’s so much to learn from all of the people who are around us.
So I admit I don’t know if I will ever encounter with such type of a BIG MASTER who appears to be reality for some of you. And I envy you a bit, because I miss this connection.
What I know is that I am grateful for those whom I met and master-guided me in my life: the extraordinary, and the regular, and the freaky, and the lovely, and the ignoring, and the asshole as well.
And the rest? I can’t wait. I need to go forward. Ready or not, master or student, the path under my feet is building itself every day, and takes me further and deeper into a life I won’t be able to see in its full meaning until its very end. And that’s OK.
Because life is a master in itself who wears the faces of thousand heroes, and you are one of them. Like me.