The Alchemy of Dreamlessness

From time to time I got the chance to accidentally have a glimpse of a miracle. By these gifts I am reminded that it didn’t disappear from my life, it’s just maybe that during this period I live a little further from its epicenter. Being too busy to notice it more often. (Or I live too close, and it’s becoming an everyday phenomenon.)

The little window which opened today into that luminous place took me by the wind and made me realize how empty it feels without dreams to be fulfilled… I mean those kinds of dreams which you feel that moves you from head to toe to act for it, to move toward it, whatever it takes.

Do you have any dream like that? What would you give to have it accomplished?

I don’t refer here to dreams which consist of having more of something material. A dream of this category is one that gives you satisfaction, which makes you richer in your heart and in your spirit, where you are giving the maximum of yourself, with or without reward and you still feel on the top of the word, knowing, that you are doing the one thing you always wanted to do in life.

Then.. if and when you lose it… what would become of you?

As time goes by, and life is lived in its rolling grains of sand, everything can renew itself which is alive. We continue to live because biologically our cells renew themselves in every part of our bodies, replacing oldened ones with the new.

I suspect it’s the same with our dreams: they must follow a certain cycle as everything else, on its own rhythm of course. Like our breath, which also has its four rhythm cycle, where one pattern is the movement of the air toward our lungs, then away, letting the air go; while the other part of the pattern is an almost undetectable pause before the cycle rolls over from inhalation to exhalation and all the way back, repeating it again and again.

This tiny pause is the territory of emptiness, no man’s land, literally. We can’t remain there as if we would, our body wouldn’t live much longer. Still, it’s there, like a little, secret bridge between inviting in and letting go. A little gate to the cosmos.

There are so many things I’d wish for, but I don’t consider them dreams to fight for. And even though I am quite aware of where I am now, and I know where do I go in my life, I can’t particularly say that I am working toward any glorious big dream. They disappeared because they got fulfilled (how lucky I am! And I truly am.), or they just simply disappeared, or died out, because of giving up. But I usually cannot give up a dream, so no, this is certainly not the case. Or at least, it wasn’t. It requires a bit more pondering and observation to be able to determine it. Because, I’m in that pause, right after having exhaled, that tiny vacuum which at the end makes you open up again and breath into whatever is to come.

Eventually, it will turn again… and the good thing in emptiness is the one benefit of inhalation: letting in and accepting, as there is space to fill. There’s a fertile territory wherein seeds can drop and find a chance to one day become a beautiful and unexpected dream which will break into roots and grow upward into a leading light.

May it happen with each of us who are in a pause, that we have a leading dream, other than possessing things or people, or having power, or having more of anything; without seducing or turning down our fellow living beings, even though they may fail to do the same for us. May we have dreams that gave us the courage to move toward them to live them as fully as possible! I guess, dreams, or even being touched by a tiny feather of a truly lived dream by another person, inspires us, and makes us reflect on our own dreams from this powerful perspective. And from there, anything is possible.

Small dreams work as well, just like daring to dream big, and anything in between. There is no rule. Just let the pause happen, dig deep down, move that dark, hidden ground in your heart, and offer your emptied sacred space to whatever is coming, and what you seek will find you first. At least, a tiny seed may show up that every time you think about it, will fill you with strength, will warm your heart and will make you feel more alive than ever. That’s how you’ll know, and that’s how you’ll water it, and let it grow.

Seek, and when you let go of seeking, it will find you first.

Published by

Anna Sólyom

Certified TRE® Provider, Biodynamic craniosacral therpaist, PSYCH-K® advanced facilitator. Writer. Dancer. Body consciousness. Mindfulness practices and meditations. Reconnect with your wellbeing.

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