I don’t exactly know what is that my system processes, but it has to do with starting, continuing, proceeding, preparing, learning and studying and growing. Shedding. Letting go.

I saw an interview with my dad today (it’s in Hungarian, it’s for those of you who speak this rare language), and I think I’ve haven’t seen any interview with him ever. We lived together for very little time: though they remained good friends, my parents divorced when I was 8. And today I saw from this distance of time and space how much we resemble, actually, in all our movements, the way our minds work and the way of talking, and I’d say, possibly in some of our dreams (though mine has nothing to do with directing successful movies, still). 

Integration. Maybe growing up (and growing) also means to have eyes to see all those things that continue in us from our parents. And to receive all those gifts and heritage. I did recognize my mom inside me long ago. And today I got the gift of recognizing my father too. Recognizing and accepting. As it is. As or as not this “i”  (the being in me) is, exists, expresses, desires, operates, acts…

Where are you with this homework? 

I remember reading the book of Brené Brown: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are and I remember reading before this Pema Chödrön’s When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, and I remember that I had the impression that both books are speaking of the same thing on a different manner. I think I’ll do a reread. It seems like a good time to practice embracing beyond wished perfection. It’s such a master title. You really need to feel it, to come up with a title like this. It seems it took 4 years to receive the message. Thank you. 

This is a late summer-spirited photo from Szentbékálla, Hungary, where we went this summer.

27 days. A good training of discipline.